


Silk and Daggers

by heavenlyforestfae



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Azula is a bitch and I love her, Comfort/Angst, F/F, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, kind of fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-03-05 14:01:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 6,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18830122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavenlyforestfae/pseuds/heavenlyforestfae
Summary: "After the victory, after the triumph, after the rebuilding, all that’s left is peace in the lands. Peace and…utter boredom.Boredom at least for Azula, stuck in a ten by ten cell with nothing but a bed and toilet and bars between her and freedom. Zuko thought about giving her chains to keep her from hurting the guards, but he couldn’t do that to his sister. Azula scoffed when he said that; it just shows how weak he is compared to her."This is a fic I wrote for one of my friends because xe has a rarepair that xe can never find content for. I ended up falling in love with Azutara (possible ship name? idk). It isn't canon dependent because I can write what I want.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is canon-divergent with the ages. Zuko is 16, Aang is 15, Sokka is 19, Suki is 20, Katara is 18, Toph is 13, and Azula is 19. This all takes place within a few months of the end of the show and everything else is the same (except the ending, Aang and Katara kissing was not a thing)

After the victory, after the triumph, after the rebuilding, all that’s left is peace in the lands. Peace and…utter boredom.

Boredom at least for Azula, stuck in a fifteen by fifteen foot cell with nothing but a bed and toilet and bars between her and freedom. Zuko thought about giving her chains to keep her from hurting the guards, but he couldn’t do that to his sister. Azula scoffed when he said that; it just shows how weak he is compared to her.

Her first days in the cell are spent with her screaming, shrieking, promising blood to everyone who put her in there. _Especially_ Katara. The little waterbender girl who bested her.

She finds her thoughts focused on that battle in every spare moment she has (which is all of them), replaying it to see her mistakes. Trying to figure out where she went wrong. Part of her can see the strength the other girl displayed, her strategic might. The tactician in her commends her for doing so well. The loser in her rues the day she was ever born.

It’s months before she gets any visitors besides her brother and useless excuse of a therapist her brother ordered. Azula is doing pull ups on the bars above her cell, back to the door. After the first thirty minutes of exercise her shirt is plastered to her skin. She hears footsteps approach her cell, so different than her brother that she pauses with her chin to the bar.

There’s a shuffling behind her, a dainty cough. Azula smirks. "So you’ve finally come to gloat. I wondered when you’d show up." She drops to the floor gracefully and spins around, sending drops of sweat splattering on the wall next to her. 

The sight she’s given is a blushing Katara in obviously expensive water tribe armor. Must have come from a ceremony or an event, Azula notes with a twitch of her eye. There was a time when she held them, adorned in elegant but deadly clothes that put fear right through the hearts of her officers and court officials.

Finally Katara tears her eyes from Azula's well defined muscles. "Um no actually I um." Her hand tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, possibly a nervous habit. Azula tucks that information away.

Azula's smirk widens as she waltzes forward to lean on the bars of her cell door--a picturesque form of controlled relaxation. "Oh come now Katara, don’t you know I’m a busy prisoner? Whatever you have to say, spill it." Her voice turns from sickly sweet to razor sharp at the end, her smirk becoming more of a baring of teeth. Even from behind bars, she’s deadly. Azula can see the realization of it in Katara’s eyes as the waterbender steps back a little.

"I just came to see how you’re doing," Katara finally gets out. Her hands drop down and smooth out her clothes despite there no wrinkles to begin with. "Your brother told me you’d finally stopped screaming and attacking the guards when they came to give you food." 

"I’m sure my life would be better if I wasn’t in this cell you put me in." Azula's voice dips into a growl. She sees Katara’s shoulders shift, square up in a tense position. 

With pursed lips, she says in a terse voice, "I did what I had to. You would have killed us."

She tilts her head. "Who says I won’t now?" Her eyes still dance with that mad fire, smile still lined with jagged fangs more used to ripping out throats than smiling. 

Katara stares at her for a moment with an unreadable expression before walking down the hallway, towards the exit. Her footsteps are steady, heavy, almost echoing.

As she leaves, Azula calls after her in a mocking voice, "Pleasure seeing you as always princess."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has mentions of suffocation and blood bending

Katara shows up a week later while Azula sprawls on her bed with a book on combat in hand. The waterbender tilts her head at the literature. "I didn’t know you liked to read,” she says instead of a greeting.

"Of course you wouldn't. Why would you know anything about my interests or preferences," she responds coolly before bookmarking the page with a dog ear and setting it down on the hard mattress. "I thought I scared you off last time." Azula looks her over almost lazily, as if she would rather be doing anything but this.

Katara shakes her head, wavy brown hair swaying with the movement. "I didn’t think you wanted me there anymore."

The statement makes her laugh dryly and without mirth. "What makes you think I want you here now?"

She pauses for a brief before walking closer to the cell without passing the restricted zone. Her words are slow, as if carefully chosen. "I feel like you could use a friend. From what Zuko told me, you don’t have any." Katara remembers that both the girls who Azula considered friends betrayed her in order to help Aang defeat Fire Lord Ozai.

The reaction is instantaneous. Azula's eyes narrow, her posture stiffens. The best way to describe it would be a cat on edge with her fur raised up to make herself look scarier than she is. "I don’t _need_ friends," she growls out. "Especially not from a half-witted, pretty face who the Avatar only kept around because he liked how she looks." 

Katara's shoulders tense and anger--no rage flashes across her features. Water begins to lift in the air like shrapnel. Something in Azula shifts, her heart beating without anything flowing, the air too thick so it can’t penetrate her lungs. 

Right before the pressure becomes unbearable, Katara finally breathes. In. And out. Measured breaths that loosen her tense muscles. The water splashes back onto the floor and Azula gasps as she slumps against the wall.

Before either girl can respond to the other, a middle aged man wearing a pretty green robe comes into the hallway. "Azula, are you ready for our appointment?" He asks in a cheery voice.

The prisoner manages to roll her eyes as she pants. "No." Azula's answer is short and sharp as she tries to regain her breathing. It was like the entire world closed in on her with the sole intent to squash her.

Katara looks between them and walks down the hall and away from the cell. Azula's eyes follow her as she goes, something swirling in her chest.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short filler chapter. I’ll put up another one later today after work 💖

She doesn’t visit her.

Not for weeks at least. And Azula can’t help but wonder if it’s good or bad. On one hand, all that empty time is leading to some fairly…intriguing thoughts. 

Her mind keeps going back to Katara being angry. Actually angry and filled with rage, her bending out of her control for just a moment. Azula relishes in the way her sky blue eyes shifted to a stormy color, how they glinted almost murderously, how the water obeyed her emotions. Despite the pain that she still sometimes feels in her bones, the show of power was so immense and...dare she saw awe-inspiring.

It was like the world was holding its breath in fear of her, Azula muses as she runs a fingernail over her heart that was useless when Katara lost herself. It was only when she finally got control of herself the world breathed again.

Azula wonders how much control she can make the water tribe princess lose. If she could make the world suffocate. The thought brings a devious smile to her face.


	4. Chapter 4

"So when is the princess coming back?" Azula asks. She's lounging on the bed like its her throne and her visitor is her subject instead of it being the other way around.

Zuko just sighs. He’s dressed down today in vibrant shades of reds and gold, their country’s colors. She can’t help but think that they compliment his skin well. "Considering that when you insulted her, all the water in and around the prison started to float, I’d say not for awhile." 

She raises an eyebrow. So she’s more powerful than she seems. And more temperamental. "How boring. I’m bored,” the princess drawls.

"I’ve given you everything you’ve asked for." The fire lord shakes his head, another soft sigh leaving his lips. "Your therapist tells me you still aren’t engaging in your sessions."

"Of course I’m not," she scoffs. "Little brother, do you expect a shrink to help me?"

"Yeah." He watches her. His look is unreadable. No, she just doesn’t want to read it. Pity and concern and worry and _love_. "Yeah I do."

Azula frowns. Looks over her options with a calculated mental eye. And then smiles. "Tell you what. I’ll do better with my 'sessions'—" she does finger quotes— "if the princess visits me every week."

Zuko looks ready to object before he rubs his chin. After a moment he sighs. "I’ll talk to her."

"Splendid." Azula smirks slightly. Losing something to gain something. “By the way. Your makeup is not hiding that bruise on your neck nearly much as you want it to.”

His cheeks go as crimson as his robes as a hand reaches up to hide the bruise. “Shut up,” he mumbles like a child chastised. 

“You really should be more careful about where that avatar puts his lips on you. I might just have to cut them off.” Azula sits up and despite her poor attempt at playful sibling banter, Zuko can tell how serious of a threat it is.

Yet he just rolls his eyes. “I’ll be sure to let him know,” Zuko deadpans. 

For the first time in awhile Zuko sees the faintest hint of a smile. It feeds the hope that he’s been fostering for her since he joined the Avatar’s crew. Maybe Katara will be what Azula needs.


	5. Chapter 5

Perfectly on time, Katara walks down the hallway to Azula's cell. The prisoner can hear the swish of her light clothing in the air and smiles to herself. At least before she messes up her form and curses as she falls.

Azula looks up from the ground where she fell to see Katara with her hand instinctively outstretched and her eyebrows furrowed. "Are you alright?"

She huffs. "I'm fine." She stands up and dusts her clothes off; there’s a piece of lint which she picks off delicately. "I see you agreed."

"Well of course." Katara's blue eyes are filled with…not pity surprisingly. Hope? "I want you to get better. Even if it means I give up a part of my week for whatever reason."

Azula almost scowls. "Who says I need to get better?" She says harshly.

"Everyone." Katara leans on the wall opposite her cell with her arms crossed over her chest. "Why did you want me to come anyway? You’ve made it pretty obvious that you hate me."

She thinks over her answer as she settles into her fighting form again, body loose and center of gravity low. "You intrigue me," Azula finally decides on as she starts another series of motions.

She knows that’s not just it. Everything about the waterbender is _intriguing_. How she walks so fluidly, how her anger is so explosive. Her sheer power. She wants more of it, craves it even.

Katara squints her eyes a little as she thinks over her words. Azula watches her expressions for too long and falls again. The waterbender immediately starts to move over before stopping herself just before the restricted line. "Are you alright?" She asks again, voice filled with worry. For _her_.

"Just peachy," Azula grumbles as she stands up. "Why do you care?" Why does Azula care about Katara's expressions anyway? Why do either of them care? She shakes her head to get her thoughts back together.

"Just…reflex I guess." The waterbender shifts on her feet awkwardly, hands wringing together. "Do…" she pauses. "You look like you’re struggling. I’ve seen that form."

"So?" Azula scoffs. She brushes herself off again as Katara steps back slightly.

"So I could help you. It’s an expert waterbending move." Katara shifts on her feet and flawlessly does the motions of the form. The way she glides in the air, her feet always surefooted on the ground. Everything about it is fluid, almost like she’s performing a dance with no one else. Azula can’t help but be…enthralled. 

Azula doesn’t realize she’s staring before Katara coughs. "Do you want me to walk you through it?"

The firebender finally snaps out of it and nods without thinking. Then, to not seem _too_ eager, she adds on, "If you want."

Katara chuckles and settles into the first stance smoothly. "Alright so you start here.”

Azula copies her motion, eyes trained on her footing and stance. Compared to her, she’s clunky and off balance.

Within an hour Katara sheds her outer layer. Then it becomes an issue of focusing more on her moves than on the way sweat begins to coat her skin. By the end of the exercises, Azula isn’t sure whether her hard breathing is from the workout or the woman on the other side of the metal bars. She decides that thinking about it gets her nowhere.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter. I'll put another one up after I get off of work ^_^

The stars shining into her small window are the only source of light in the cell. Azula lies on her back, arms over her stomach. She can’t stop replaying the way Katara's muscles moved under her skin, the intense look in her eyes as she focused, her stern voice when Azula messed up. 

The firebender can’t understand why she keeps thinking about her. Only that she is and each thought of her sends shivers of something down her spine, singing across her skin. Her eyes glance to the hallway as if she expects to see her there for some reason. She scoffs at her own stupidity. Katara wouldn’t show up here again, she’s fulfilled her weekly visit.

Azula still watches the hallway until she falls asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmare ahead. Little bit of a trigger warning for abuse, which may be touched on later. Also a trigger warning for self harm.

_He’s yelling and screaming and the sky is shaking. Ripping, crying, there’s pain and pain and pain so bad it’s white against her skin and she’s crying tears that don’t soothe the flames and she just wants it to be over but it never stops it never fucking stops--_

Azula jolts awake. Moonlight streams into the cell, over her bed that shakes with her. The only sounds in the prison are her rattling sobs that can be heard echoing down the hallways.

But no one ever comes. They never do. 

Azula sucks in a harsh breath that hurts her lungs. She tugs off her shirt, it’s too tight too hot too much. Her fingertips run over her shoulders and down her back, feeling the raised burn that went deeper than skin, deeper than muscle. It still hurts to this day and right now it feels like she’s on fire all over again.

And then suddenly she’s clawing at her skin, at her shoulders and her arms and her back and she’s sobbing because she didn’t _ask_ for this, she didn’t _ask_ to be born like she was. 

By the time exhaustion settles in again she’s bleeding onto her sheets. Down her back, dripping off of her fingernails. Blood and tears mixing together as she holds her face and curls up and just sobs.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for blood

The next morning her therapist finds her in a puddle of her own blood, passed out with her back to the cell bars. After a moment of panic he rushes to the nearest guard.

“Azula is bleeding out,” he gasps, an older man unused to exercise. 

The only reaction he gets is a sliding of eyes under his helmet. “So?”

“You...she’s _bleeding out_. You have to open the cell so we can get her to the infirmary.” He waves his hands between the guard and the cell down the hall.

To his utter dismay the guard doesn’t move. “I don’t see the issue. Why should I care?”

“She is the Lord’s sister and your prisoner _you should care_.” He glares at him. “If you don’t open up the damn cell I’ll report you to him myself.”

That finally pulls him away from the wall with an intense sigh. With a laziness only found in someone not in a crisis, he flips through his keys. After a solid minute he finally finds the key and unlocks the cell. Before he can even step back, the therapist is pushing past him and into the red-stained cell. He scoops Azula up with a hiss through his teeth.

The guard doesn’t move to help him as he carries her slowly out of cell, down the hall. Blood drips off of her skin and stains his pretty green robe that cost him a fortune but he doesn’t care right now. He’s red in the face by the time that he makes it to the infirmary, her weight almost more than he can bear but he does it anyway.

Thankfully the doctor on duty seems just as worried about Azula as the therapist and helps get her on the bed. However as soon as he tries to help, the doctor shoos him away. 

“You need to go tell the Fire Lord,” she says as she turns her attention back to the prisoner. She works quickly to clean her wounds and bandage them. A few need to be stitched up which she takes care of.

Azula’s therapist gawks for a moment before rushing out of the infirmary. His patient’s blood still stains his clothes as he goes to find Zuko.


	9. Chapter 9

The bed is soft.

That’s the first thing Azula notices when she wakes up in a groggy state. Her fingers curl slowly into the blankets; they aren’t scratchy on her skin. Slowly she pulls her hands up and feels the bite of metal on her wrists and hears something clink together. Cuffs, she realizes. 

Her eyes ever so slowly peel open. She looks around the room silently and sees medical equipment, another prisoner and...her brother.

Zuko is slumped awkwardly in a chair with his arms all bent and his legs jumbled together. A line of drool runs down his chin and if Azula wasn’t so damn tired she might make fun of him for it.

Instead she says, “Zuko wake up.” 

No response.

“Zuko, wake up,” she repeats again louder. 

This time he shifts and mumbles something. He blinks open his eyes then gasps when he sees her; Zuko jolts forward with a hand outstretched before tugging it back. He shouldn’t touch, should he. She’s a dangerous criminal. Azula tries not to be hurt by it.

“How do you feel?” Zuko asks her. Instead of holding her hand, he rests it on the bar on her bed. More bars.

She wonders if she’ll ever be free of them.

“I feel like shit,” she mumbles. “What happened?”

Zuko sucks in a breath. “Sarin found you bleeding in your cell. He rushed you to the infirmary, that’s where we are now. You’ll be okay, you just need to rest for a bit. Then they can transfer you back to your cell.”

The prospect of going back to that cell almost makes her deflate. Almost. She doesn’t do that, doesn’t allow herself to be that vulnerable. Instead she nods. “Okay.”

That’s it.

Okay.

She will be okay.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” He asks and his voice takes that gentle tone that she abhors. 

“No.” She shakes her head at him. Why would she want to talk about it? It was nothing. She deserved it. Of course she did, why wouldn’t she?

Nothing shows on her face. She is just shut down. 

Zuko swallows and nods. “I need to go to the court,” he murmurs. “I’ll be back?” A question. Does she even want him back?

“Okay.” She looks past him. It’s cold in the room.

Zuko stands up, smoothes his robes out, and starts to walk out of the infirmary. Yet right before he leaves he walks back in and leans over the bed to press the briefest of kisses to her forehead. “I love you, Azula.” He pulls back and exits before she can even react.

She doesn’t know how to react, if she’s being honest. Azula lays in shock on the bed with her back raw and her soul even more so. She sucks in a breath that rattles around in her chest as if it can’t find a home. When was the last time she heard those three words, when was the last time they were said so genuinely? Spirits she doesn’t know. 

“I love you too,” Azula whispers to the now empty room. Her words echo back to her because, like her breath, their home is now gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sibling interaction that hurts is my favorite genre


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lapse in chapters! Work has been kicking my butt. 
> 
> Warning for strong language in the next chapter

Azula watches Katara who watches her right back. Today marks the third day she’s back in her cell and a week since she tore at her own skin until she passed out from blood loss and exhaustion. Her back is bandaged and stitched and wrapped up until she can’t move without feeling the scrape of her pure white linens rub against her raw self.

She hates the way the waterbender stares at her. Calculates her, if Azula cared enough to name. But softer than that, gentle even. Something more than worry, more than concern swirls in her eyes. It makes her stomach roll and knot up inside itself.

“Are you gonna say anything?” Azula asks in a tone that edges into snapping. She hates silence almost as much as she hates words, especially if they’re out of pity or worry. And she knows that’s what this silence is for. 

Katara works her jaw, obviously taking care to choose her words. “Do you want to talk about what happened?” She asks finally in that _damned soft tone_.

Azula stands up and throws her hands over her head as she paces back and forth in her cell. One could compare her to an armadillo lion stuck in a cage. “Everyone keeps fucking asking me that. No I don’t, what happened happens all the fucking time and _I don’t fucking care_!” Every word out of her mouth gets louder until she’s almost yelling. When she stops she’s shaking so hard she could cry and she doesn’t know _why_.

Katara’s shoulders slacken and she steps to the bars. “It looks like you do. Sounds like it too.” She walks closer again until she’s toeing the restricted line. “You can care about things you know. It is allowed.”

“You’re not my fucking therapist,” she snaps and when she looks at her she has that mad fire in her eyes again. But this time there’s something else there too. Something broken that she can’t hide now. 

Azula doesn’t know why she isn’t pissed at her. Why Katara won’t yell or leave because that is what everyone else does so why wouldn’t she? She sucks in a hard breath to try to dispel the pain in her chest and eyes. It doesn't work at all and just makes her feel worse, if possible.

Katara steps across the restricted line and her fingertips brush the cold metal of the bars. “I’m not your therapist but...I’m trying to be your friend. No.” She frowns a little. “I am your friend. And I want to help you.”

Her friend. It shuts her down completely and she sits down on her bed, knees pulled up to her chest even if it pulls at her healing wounds. Azula swallows hard. Now she doesn’t know what to say. That is, if she ever did. “I don’t understand,” she whispers. 

“I know.” Katara leans against the cell door with her face almost pressed between the bars. “But I want to help you understand. Please just let me do that.” She watches her, she waits for her. She can do it for as long as Azula needs.

Azula closes her eyes tightly. She breathes deeply once, twice, thrice. “Please just leave.” Oh how she hates that her voice cracks on that last word. “Please.”

Katara opens her mouth to say something and then closes it. She backs up a few steps and then walks away. Each step hurts them both until Azula can’t hear them anymore and she just feels fucking empty.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I UPDATED! And I wrote over a thousand words for this chapter which I am so proud of. Work is so hard on me right now so again, sporadic updates but I'll try to get chapters out at least once every two weeks.

Sokka lays with his head in Suki’s lap, her hands running idly in his hair. In the time after the war he’s grown it out and the buzzcut on the sides is more like a soft fuzz. “I don’t get why you keep visiting her,” he says to his sister who sits on the chair across from them. His words are muffled around food that he’s eating, the bowl sits on his stomach and moves with his breathing.

Katara huffs at him, arms crossed. “She needs a friend.”

“She tried to kill us! Multiple times!” Sokka looks over at her with his eyebrows furrowed together. “I just don’t understand. She’s in that prison for a reason you know.”

“Sokka is, for once, kind of right,” Suki chimes in.

“Ha see! Wait--” He looks up at his fiancé with a pout. “Rude.”

“Just hear me out please,” Katara pleads to them both. “She needs someone okay? Azula _needs_ a friend to help her. You didn’t see her before, after she got out of the infirmary. She looked so...broken.” She looks down at her hands and sighs. 

Sokka sits up and leans his elbows on his thighs as he watches her. They look so similar to each other, the same blue eyes and the same stubborn expression. “Katara you just want to help every lost puppy you see, even if it’s a demon in disguise.”

“She isn’t a demon,” she snaps as she looks up at him. “She’s a _person_ Sokka. Azula deserves kindness as much as you or me. Zuko is now one of our closest allies and when he first came to join us you said the same damn thing about him.” 

Sokka frowns deeply at her, hands clasped in front of him. “Katara listen to your big brother for once please,” he pleads quietly.

“And I’ll ask you to listen to me for once,” she replies back, a hint of snark in her voice. 

Sokka sits back and sighs as Suki rubs his arm. “I can’t stop you. But be careful, please. For me.” 

She stands up, puts her hands in her pockets. “I will, I promise.” Katara glances at the blue necklace that sits on Suki’s neck. “You guys decided on a wedding date yet?”

“Not yet,” Suki says and she smiles at the topic change. A wedding is a good happy topic to distract from conflict.

Katara sits back down after a moment. “Are you holding it in the Southern Water tribe, the Northern, or the Earth Kingdom?” 

“Well right now we’re thinking Earth Kingdom. Not as cold, “Sokka says. “I was thinking about taking Appa and having him help carry family and friends to and from the wedding,” he says. “At least once I talk to Aang about it.”

She rolls her eyes at him with a chuckle. “Of course you haven’t asked yet.” She looks at a clock, realizes the time. “I gotta go but I love you. Both of you.” Katara stands up and hugs them both. “Take care of yourself okay?”

“And you too.” He says as he squeezes her tight, lifts her off the ground a little. Sokka presses quick kiss to the side of her head before setting her down. 

Katara steps back and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. “Love you guys,” she says as she walks out of their home. Katara breathes in as she walks out into the street of the Fire Nation.

The buildings and people are alight with color. She still hasn’t gotten over how beautiful the city is, how gorgeous the country is. Everything bursts with energy and warmth and a brimming passion under the surface. 

She walks down the streets, red clothes allowing her to blend in. Her skin causes her to stand out, darker than almost anyone else’s and in the twilight it makes her look more like a shadow. 

Eventually she finds a little festival or maybe it finds her, it seems like there are always festivals in the city. Maybe it’s simply because the people want to celebrate the end of the war, the overthrowing of a tyrant, the crowning of a new Fire Lord. They celebrate because after so long they actually have a reason to.

Katara smiles at the music and the jangles and the dancing that happens in the crowds. People press together, their voices rising on the wind. Someone dances by Katara and takes her hands, pulling her into the crowd. She laughs as she’s pulled into the throng, the two nameless bodies in a sea of others all dancing.

In the back of her mind comes the sudden thought that she wishes it was Azula she was dancing with.

After finding her way through the festival, dancing the whole way through and laughing at the sky, she makes it to her home. Small, quiet, unassuming. Zuko had offered her a manor sized house but she turned it down, preferring a home that was normal. She wants to be normal. Katara laughs to herself a little at the notion. Normalcy has long been impossible for her. She strips off her clothing and finds a oversized sleep shirt, running her fingers over the soft familiar fabric. With a small sigh to herself she finds her bed and wraps up in the blankets that she knows will be too hot in the middle of the night.

But _something_ has to replace this aching feeling in her chest. After months of constantly being around people, constantly side by side, constantly having no time to yourself, it's impossible to not feel like something is gone. Broken. She wraps her blankets tightly around herself and buries her face in one of many pillows she has littered around her bed and home. Anything to make herself feel less lonely than she is.

Katara falls asleep with her cheek squished into the pillow with her heart and skin aching for someone else. Even if she can't--or won't--name them.


	12. Chapter 12

Sarin smiles gently at Azula who doesn’t face him. Her back isn’t to him either, that’s another perceived weakness. Instead her back is to the wall and her side to him. Her therapist is reminded how painfully young she is. 

“So do you want to talk about anything today?” Sarin asks, face settled into a pleasant smile. Muscle memory at this point. “These past few weeks haven’t been the best for you.”

He’s met with a rough scoff. “Yeah you could say that,” she mutters. Sarin’s trained eyes watch her tense body language. Shoulders hard against her neck, hands clenched into fists in her lap. She glares at the wall opposite her and he wonders who she is shooting daggers at in her mind.

“You’ve got some feelings bottled up. This is where you can let those out.” Sarin tilts his head slightly. 

His patient turns sharply at him with a cutting glare. “Oh really,” she says in a sarcastic drawl, one that would make anyone with common sense afraid. But Sarin is not someone with a strong sense of self preservation.

“Yes really. This is a safe space for you, somewhere you can truly be yourself. I won’t judge or try to shut you down because this is where _you_ can be you.”

Azula frowns as her fingers curl tightly around her biceps. “And...if I don’t want to say anything?” Something like fear, maybe vulnerability, flickers in her voice. 

“Then I will never make you,” he promises. “You deserve to talk about what you’ve been through at your own pace.” Sarin gives her a smile she doesn’t see. The rest of their appointment is quiet and when time is up, he bids her farewell. She doesn't reply.

Till next week...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I didn't get this out sooner, especially for being such a short chapter. But work and mental health have been slowing me down. I'll be trying to get more out soon!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for infection and bodily fluids.

Infected.

Azula knows the symptoms. Soaring fever, shooting pain, hot green puss dripping down her back and seeping through the bandages. Everything aches, she hasn’t moved for days, she _can’t_ move. Despite the heat rushing through her body she shakes and shivers in her bed. Even the bed-frame hits the wall from her torture. 

With her hands pressed to her cheeks damp with sweat and tears, Azula wonders if this is how she finally dies. If she dies with her entire body is being burned alive with lightning again.

She can only hope that the end is quick then, quicker than the burns and quicker than this lightning agony.

A gasp behind her. Metal screams against metal. Something cool touches her back and pulls at the bandages and it _hurts_ it hurts so badly that she sobs and she flinches, Azula _flinches_ but those hands...she relaxes under their touch. And as the pain fades so does her consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter again. I've got more plot in the works.


	14. Chapter 14

“--she seems to be doing better now.” 

It’s muffled. And soft again. Azula rolls onto her side as she slowly feels consciousness grab at her. The clink of her handcuffs alerts whoever else is in the room that she’s awake. Next thing she knows is there’s a hand on her shoulder and she flinches without opening her eyes. The hand leaves.

“Azula?” The voice asks. Zuko. Of course. “Hey how are you doing?” 

She peels her eyes open to him, the harsh light of the infirmary sharp against her vision. When her eyes focus she sees her brother above her like she expected. His hair is messy and in his face, the unburned eye wide. There’s dark bags under his eyes—well, eye—she notices. 

“I feel…” She shifts a bit on the bed, feels the hospital gown slip down her shoulder. “Peachy.” 

She hears footsteps walk towards her bed and then there’s Katara peeking over Zuko’s shoulder. The waterbender is just as much in disarray as her brother is. Frizzy hair, shoulders sagging. “You don’t look peachy,” she comments. Her voice is just as tired as how she looks.

“Why are you here?” She asks as she tries to sit up. And it’s then that she realizes that her back doesn’t scream in pain at her.

Zuko looks back at the other girl. “Katara is the one who found you. The second time. She healed you.”

Oh. Azula knows that the feeling of disappointment at being saved is wrong. Is looked down on. But she was hoping, just hoping, that no one would care. That no one would find her and if they did that she would be left to rot.

Of course she never gets what she wants.

Katara frowns a tiny bit at her. There’s something in her eyes, something like she’s sharing a secret. Azula blanches. The water bender had to see her back to heal it.

She saw.

“Azula you got pale, are you alright?” Her brother asks, resting a gentle hand on her arm.

But she jerks away from it, from him, from _her_. “I want to be alone,” she says in a steady voice, so unlike how she feels at the moment. Nothing about her is steady.

Katara looks at Zuko, sighs quietly. “We should go,” she murmurs, pulling back from the bedside. “Azula, may I visit you again?” Is that hope?

“Yes,” she says before she stops herself. Backing out is weak and...and she does want to see her again, despite how much she might deny it.

“Good,” Zuko pipes in. “I’ve talked to Katara and she’s going to be your medic for the time being. No one else in the prison has water healing.”

Spirits _no_. Azula slumps into the bed. “Fine. Please go now.”

Zuko nods and stands up. He and Katara step back and out of the infirmary. Leaving Azula to think. And think. And think. 

Someone knows her secret. And it’s the last person in the whole world that she would want to find it. Right then, at that moment, something breaks. She doesn’t know if it is for better or for worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Not dead? More likely than you think.


	15. Chapter 15

_The ground is solid beneath her feet. The only sounds that fill the garden are her pants and the patter of feet as she runs. She knows that he’s here, he has to be here. He is always here._

_The world spins and she spins with it and then the flowers blur until he stands right in front of her. His face is contorted into anger, disgust, rage; mouth moving in words she’s memorized but can’t hear over a sudden crack of lightning and she braces for the pain._

_But nothing hits. She opens her eyes to see a sandbricked temple high above the ground. This isn’t how this goes, she’s supposed to get the punishment and wake up. Azula turns around and gasps. The sound echoes until it reaches the two towering creatures: a coiled blue dragon and a red dragon, sitting up tall. Both of their scales turn gold in the light, almost blinding._

_**Hello Azula.** The red dragon’s mouth does not move; his voice permeates through the dreamscape. Into her mind. He tilts his head down to her and she feels minuscule before him._

_“Where are we?” She asks to push away her discomfort while the insanity of the situation becomes eased by her dreaming subconscious._

_Something akin to laughter rumbles through the air. **I am where I always am. You however are at a crossroads. A place of change, the flame about to be snuffed. Or fueled.**_

_“That’s not an answer though.” Azula crosses her arms. Usually she feels the pull of her scars on her back when she does but there’s nothing there. Her gaze is pulled to the blue dragon. “What’s wrong with him?”_

_Azula doesn’t quite know why she asked. There’s nothing outwardly wrong with the azure creature, just something feels...off. Broken. Pale eyes as large as her torso find hers and see right through. It causes a shiver from somewhere deep inside of her._

_The red dragon stays silent for a moment before flying like water over to his companion. **He tires. His flame is flickering.**_

_“Can I help?” The words leave her and hang in the space between them._

_**Child,** the dragon laughs, swinging back to curl his body around her, blocking the blue dragon from sight. **You are broken. A weapon from birth. Have you ever truly helped someone?** _

_Those words, they hit her so hard she almost crumbles. “I can_ try _.”_

_**Of course you could.**_

__

__

_**But the question is, will you?** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uwu my friend broke my writers block so here y'all go


End file.
